Friday, August 21, 2015

The Best of Me and More...

Okay.... so THIS was the post I was supposed to write last time. I think that awesome Jen Sincero post was just processing through my brain so much that it processed it's way right into my writing. That's ok. The last post was definitely all truth and absolutely my heart and soul. And hey... I even discovered a life changing perspective. It's literally "all good"!

But the original point I was attempting to make was more about my new lease on life being connected to the life I have lived for the past twenty seven years. It is true that my brush with a concerning mammogram has made me bring life to a new level of awareness. But, that is not to say that I have not been living the life I've wanted to live for these three decades. Marriage and mothering truly are my core desires, dreams, realities, and treasures. I have enjoyed living out this dream come true with all of my being. It has been a blessing, a joy, and a privilege. And, I'm still in the midst of it.

It is, however, time to leave the "ors" behind and progress to the "ands" as I wrote about in my last post. It is time for all of me to enter the picture. It's no secret that it takes a lot of sacrifice to enjoy a blissful marriage and to raise happy, healthy, well-balanced children to adulthood. There are times when it can mean losing a little bit of yourself along the way. My family has been awesome about helping me to retain just enough to never feel abandoned. I could have taken more. They have always been my biggest cheerleaders. But I am what I am and that is totally, head over heels devoted to each and every one of them, and our family as a whole.

When the time comes, you know it. My body is at the end of this fertility thing. The medications I am on for my arthritis make it impossible for me to have another baby. Some of my children are adults. Some are teenagers. One is a pre-teen to the maximus. And one... well, he'll be my baby forever. But that's another story. ;)

As I was downloading photos from my camera to the laptop the other day, I was gushing over each of my sweethearts, and the qualities about each that drives me crazy, and keeps me in awe of them. I smiled as I saw their dad in each of them. And I was proud to see some of my strengths in them as well. Oh, the weaknesses got passed down to. But those can all get tweaked into positives if they're willing to work with it. ;)

I thought about how I would like to have more of each of them in me. And I reflected on what parts of me I like in each of them. Those are the parts I want to work on more in me.

Josh
 

Sarah
Hannah



Caleb
 
Rebekah
Jacob


I actually wrote a lot about each one of them, and those qualities I mentioned earlier. Then, I thought, maybe it's best not to be so detailed. It was a good exercise for me though. I learned a lot about myself and the relationship I have with each one of them. I really like them a lot, and I hope that the day will come when they can look back on life, and feel the same way about me. They do inspire me to be the best me I can be, not only for them now, but as an example to them for their own future. I want them to become the person they were each created to be and live life to the fullest.

These 27 years have been the best of my life. I look forward to the next chapter being even better!!!

1 comment:

  1. Reading your thoughts makes me a better person. You're a blessing!

    ReplyDelete

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